How To Balls Up The Stag Do
You might be thinking that if you just get the groom back safely to his fiancé after the stag do you’re doing a bang up job. But, let’s be honest, we’re men and we have an ability to balls up any situation and put our foot in it. So here’s How To Balls Up The Stag Do and if you want to keep your invite to the actual wedding, avoid these!
The Groom Calling His Fiancé
On the stag do night and weekend there is strictly a no contact between the stag and fiancé. That means take his phone off him for the weekend. Only in cases of a emergency should the bride to be contacted, situations like loss of limbs or something.
The reason there is no contact is that he could land you all in the dog house talking about all the crazy shit you’ve been up to already on the stag do. What the bride doesn’t know won’t hurt her…or you either. Look what happened when this guy called his missus on the stag do weekend!
Getting The Stag Crippled Drunk
Right gents, we are both in agreement that the groom will be drunk…very drunk. But what I’m talking about is keeping your mate in that area between “he’s on his stag” and “I’ve no memory from the stag do activity on”. In this area he’ll be basically your own drunken rag doll that you’ll cart to every pub and club. Ensure that he has a hangover so big it will be on the curriculum for GCSE History!
Word of warning lads, if you’re not careful he may wander out of this drunken area into the “I’ve no idea how I ended up with a penguin from London zoo…I don’t why the police are charging me!” area.
Not Booking A Taxi
Don’t be a fool lads, if ya have an idea of where you’ll be when it’s the bars and clubs eventually tell your stag do to go home. Have a taxi booked or you will balls up the stag do. A few reasons for this. No one likes walking for ages when they’re pissed and no one likes sleeping on the streets either. But more importantly, the hotel you’re staying in will have a residents bar which means the party isn’t finished. This is how you will feel when you get in from the club and have a residents bar!
Timing Of The Stag Do
It’s actually possible to balls up a stag do after it’s happened. How you ask? Well if you decide to book it a dangerously close to the actual wedding day and you go bat shit crazy and the stag comes back with say no eyebrows. If he doesn’t have enough time to grow them back you’ve ballsed up. The bride will transform into some godzilla like being and you’ll never be able to hang out with your mate again because you ruined her wedding photos. This never looks good, regardless of what you tell yourself!
Forgetting About Hangover Food
If you decided not to have breakfast in your stag do accommodation. Well then make sure you at least have some hangover food ready for the second day of antics. Nothing ruins a stag do then a hangover. So either know of a place that does a great fry up or have your go to soakage post drinking meal to set you up for another day of stag party messing!
Having No Money
Lastly, nothing balls up a stag do than not having enough money for the actual stag do weekend. So make sure you’ve put some money aside once you know your going. This is not your average night out. There will be more pints and shots consumed on the stag do weekend than what you’ll be able to manage in 6 months. It’s a weekend remember and not a night. Be prepared and say that to your liver too!
So there you have it. Knowing How To Balls Up The Stag Do should hopefully give you some insight of how to avoid these pitfalls yourself. Enjoy the stag do weekend lads!